i listen to ane brun tonight (best i can do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4AmkD0xnp4&feature=youtube_gdata_player).

i am working on The Present and she says “i am here, here right now”.

enjoyably during this holiday i gave up forward planning. it has (italics) left me without contact lenses for a day, playing (and losing) monopoly with my nephews and, later, squinting at the ruins of the city centre with two friends from paris who happen to be in my hometown waiting for a parcel. bien sûr. however it also got me to northern canterbury on a cloudy day, and thermal hot pools and a brilliant kiwi lunch (best enjoyed with the aforesaid nephews: fish and chips followed by hokey pokey icecream in a cone), the road home bordered, in some spots, by purple lupins as far as the eye could see.

this is the photo i took from my friend’s van: edd. i am here, here now.

she finishes: “right here by your side, i lay my hand on the couch next to you, you can hold it if you would like to, it will do you good”. i have been mulling this over and here is my conclusion: to lay your hand by someone’s side you must feel safe. it takes energy to be happy all the time and you need to find someone with whom you can lay down your hand and feel secure that they won’t want anything more from you, at least for that moment in time.